Pickle and Jam

Office life looks something like this:

8:05- Walk into office, acting like I'm right on time. Head straight to break room to put away lunch, make coffee, get water.
8:08- Sit at desk, open applications, check email. Delete 95% of email because it is junk.
8:10- Try to look busy for 7 hours and 50 minutes, because I now have nothing to do unless the phone rings.
9:30- Pause from internet browsing/book reading and notice the imminent hunger that is rising from the depths of mine belly.
9:40- After procrastinating for 10 minutes, go to the break room and make some oatmeal. Go back to desk.
9:50- Oatmeal is thoroughly cooled.
10:00- Oatmeal is fully consumed.
10:10- Bathroom break
11:30- Realize that the only thing oatmeal is good for is making my blood sugar crash, therefore I am tragically hungry. Procrastinate until noon.
12:15- Forgot about noon because of an article on the internet that was semi entertaining. Finally eat lunch
1:00- *phone rings* "(Name of company that is too long but I have to say it anyway)(my name)"
"Blah blah..and thats why Im cancelling service...blah blah..you suck...bleepblurgh." *hang up*
1:15- Feel the crushing weight of time never moving forward, being forever stuck in the never ending cycle of soul crushing helplessness....
Depression
Bathroom break
Depression
Funny internet meme makes me laugh internally
Depression
3:00- Boss leaves office. I get up and pace, then do some exercise moves that get my heart rate up so that I will feel alive at least once today.
3:30- Back to the desk

Time ticks slowly by.....

4:30- .....
5: o' fuckin' clock- Peace, B*tches!