Wednesday, August 13, 2014

Office life looks something like this:

8:05- Walk into office, acting like I'm right on time. Head straight to break room to put away lunch, make coffee, get water.
8:08- Sit at desk, open applications, check email. Delete 95% of email because it is junk.
8:10- Try to look busy for 7 hours and 50 minutes, because I now have nothing to do unless the phone rings.
9:30- Pause from internet browsing/book reading and notice the imminent hunger that is rising from the depths of mine belly.
9:40- After procrastinating for 10 minutes, go to the break room and make some oatmeal. Go back to desk.
9:50- Oatmeal is thoroughly cooled.
10:00- Oatmeal is fully consumed.
10:10- Bathroom break
11:30- Realize that the only thing oatmeal is good for is making my blood sugar crash, therefore I am tragically hungry. Procrastinate until noon.
12:15- Forgot about noon because of an article on the internet that was semi entertaining. Finally eat lunch
1:00- *phone rings* "(Name of company that is too long but I have to say it anyway)(my name)"
"Blah blah..and thats why Im cancelling service...blah suck...bleepblurgh." *hang up*
1:15- Feel the crushing weight of time never moving forward, being forever stuck in the never ending cycle of soul crushing helplessness....
Bathroom break
Funny internet meme makes me laugh internally
3:00- Boss leaves office. I get up and pace, then do some exercise moves that get my heart rate up so that I will feel alive at least once today.
3:30- Back to the desk

Time ticks slowly by.....

4:30- .....
5: o' fuckin' clock- Peace, B*tches!

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